From Sadness to Success

I have been a creative person since childhood and into crafts and all things ethnic - a great lover of cheesecloth and flip-flops (and not only in the 70’s!) and when I recently told a friend what I am doing with my life now, she said “You always were a crafty so and so!”

Mental Crash
After working in office jobs for over 20 years, in June 2006 I had what I affectionately refer to as my ‘Mental Crash’. The best analogy I can use is to imagine a cartoon dog running at full pelt, hitting the wall and sliding down it into a dead stop. This was a deep depression which left me unable to work for 3 months and, now looking back, gave me the much needed opportunity to spend time changing the way I live my life.

A long period of self assessment and examination revealed my low self worth, and with this knowledge I was able to work through a process of getting to know who I was, how I tick, to deal with my fears and to getting well again by growing-up my child within. A good support group was very important for me and I will always be grateful to them for their unrelenting patience. With additional help from my family, friends, one-to-one counselling and my GP, I came out the other side.

Like so many people who have experienced my illness, in the darkest days of my depression I found it impossible to turn off my ‘racing head ‘ long enough to find some peace, until one day after clearing out some old necklaces to take to the charity shop a friend suggested that the beads were so lovely it was a shame to throw them out and suggested I could turn them into something I would wear. I found to my relief, that beading became my therapy, I could lose hours sitting in my garden stringing old beads and this gave me the mind-rest I needed.

Back then when everything felt dark, my beading was not about a making product, but part of the process of my recovery. Finding ways of overcoming emotional difficulties and the daily stress associated with ill health was the key to getting better. I am delighted, and so very grateful to say that this therapy (which started with a couple of old ice-cream tubs full of ‘beads and bits’) along with a vast amount of work and self awareness, has grown from an enjoyable and experimental process to being my way of life today.

The work I do is rewarding and energising and along with the self help work I have done, has allowed me to be comfortable in my own skin and at peace. Most days I live my life with my eyes wide open, embracing change and enjoying everything around me. By doing this I can bring energy and fresh ideas to my creations. I gained satisfaction from making things, which contributed to my return to good mental health - who can argue with that!

Back in 2005 I told a friend I was ‘sick of the rat race’ and she told me I was far too young at 36 to be feeling this way. I continued to search for the ‘right job’ and then went on to ‘crash’.

When I was a child my older sister used to take me to our local busy Stamford Market on Fridays in the summer holidays and I have such fond memories of the community atmosphere, hustle and bustle and happy times spent in the market. It was a real treat for me and I used to look forward to our Fridays together. We would also visit a little shop on the corner of an old cobbled street – I used to call it the nick-knack shop. I used to think, “When I grow up I’d like to own a place like this”…

Going Solo

Trusting my instincts and listening to my inner self gave me one of the greatest gifts to come from the process of getting well, that is the knowledge that ‘I have choices’. With these choices, a deep knowing of self worth, a higher power, enthusiasm, trust and a passion for happiness I have realised my dream. I now have the little ‘nick-knack‘ shop that I always dreamed of, in the form of a stall on my favourite market and feel privileged to be part of that community atmosphere I so loved as a child, I have developed my website and have a happy contented life.

I find the more I use my instincts to make choices, the better the choices are, rather than my previously used method of 'analysing and quantifying'.

Thanks to my employers in October 2006 I was able to return to work in on a part time basis and with continued support I took my hobby to another level. The six months of developing my fledgling business whilst continuing to work part time was hard going. I spent all day either in the office or selling on the markets, then making products and doing business admin in the evenings and at weekends. It was all absolutely worth it, as I trusted my intuition again and took the decision to ‘give up the day job’ at the end of March 2007 and took Ali’s House of String into a full time self employed business.

I am enormously enthusiastic and passionate about my work and grateful for everything I am given to enjoy. I do however seem to work more hours now than I ever have before, but I am so very happy and for me, that says it all. I believe in what I do so will keep doing it as long as I feel this way. I know my work has a place in the market because people buy it... I always used to joke that I was never ‘in fashion’ at the same time as others and I realise now that I like that; being individual reflects in my work.

I read somewhere that running your own business can be a demanding and exhausting occupation, but given the right conditions and necessary equipment can grow into a thriving, successful venture that will give a lifetime of satisfaction. I can only agree with this and hope I will continue to grow successfully and emotionally.

Now when something doesn’t go the way I ‘would have’ expected it to, I take notice, accept and enjoy what I have been given. I am told that my subconscious positive signals shine through and when you buy a piece of my work you are buying a piece of me, and my passion for it.

Embracing Change
My collection has grown greatly since 2006 as I have discovered new crafts and experimented with materials and I offer a personalised service on many of my products, so the receiver gets something truly individual. I use a number British artisans and suppliers to help supply the materials used for my creations and as far as possible source from local suppliers and merchants, helping family businesses continue to trade.

I am a great believer in living for today, and today I am happy; so whatever the future holds I will embrace the changes and continue to grow enjoying what new creations are yet to come my way.

I hope you enjoy what you find here.

Ali Hawley-Smith